Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Randomize
