capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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