So drunk, too bad you don't want this
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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