hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Randomize
