it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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