Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize