A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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