hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
