grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
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