I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
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