I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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