How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
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