I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
