He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Randomize
