I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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