The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
