things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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