so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize
