He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
