All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
