So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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