Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
