Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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