so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
