Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
How does it feel to date your dad?
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