Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Randomize
