Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Is it penis luge time yet?
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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