i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
