i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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