but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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