So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
