This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
You pole danced in your parka.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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