You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
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