I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
