if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
