I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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