I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
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