you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
