I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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