Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
