i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
