I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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