Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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