Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
