found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize