you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
