Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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