M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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