Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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