Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
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