i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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