Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
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