there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Randomize
