I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
