im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
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I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
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I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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