I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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