i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I need to sanitize my soul.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Randomize
