you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
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