Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
