You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
we're chasing vodka with high fives
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
You were trust falling into bushes
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