No stitches, just platelets and will power
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
