Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Randomize
