redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Randomize
